It was Christmas Eve at BetFan Towers
An old man said to me……. No as a song it will never catch on forget it!
It’s that day where just before you go on that mad crazy last minute shopping spree or as I call it, the only Xmas shop I do, you need to take five, pour a small sherry and find out who has won this years BetFan Golf Awards 2013.
It is not for me to say whether this is now the most prestigious awards event in golf or all sport that is for others to judge. Some say they are not, some say they are (don’t ask me to name them it’s Xmas) but what is beyond doubt is that these are the finest golf awards you will read today……. probably.
I get great feedback here for the golf column, it’s fair to say not everyone agrees with my views but hopefully they have brightened up many a Tuesday morning for you when you are of course pretending to be working!
OUR FIRST AWARD
BEST CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO BE STANDING BY LIVE BY SATELLITE AS I WON’T WIN
Tough one this year but the award goes to Justin Rose for his classic can’t be arsed no show at the BBC Sports Personality show last Sunday. Now we all knew Murray was going to win but Rosey you were in Thailand not the Moon, you could have shown up by satellite surely. Now as a regular visitor to Thailand I can confirm there are better things to do than talk to Clare Balding (Temples and Museums I mean, steady) but as a Major Champion Rosey, poor.
Best we have endless live hours to broadcast but aim to show as little live action as possible
BBC’S Coverage of local landmarks masquerading as The Open 2013
Yes here we are at the hotel where some players stay something that you have never needed to know before but heres an interview with a woman who has worked here for twenty years but she doesn’t know any of the golfers. After this we will return you to the practice ground and then onto a short documentary about what happened on this land during World War 1. Those of you waiting for live golf will then endure twenty minutes of a single camera shot of a small Island two miles off shore while Peter Allis tells a rambling story of a guy he knew who rowed out there and it er wasn’t very good.
Meanwhile Phil Mickelson is playing sensational golf but you can’t see it till the short documentary about the artist by the 8th fairway has finished.
Best Sickening Groveller Round Tiger Woods
Yes by a landslide retaining his trophy which he refused to collect as it wasn’t presented or signed by Tiger or God as he refers to him, it’s Skys Mark Roe.
Roe has plumbed to new depths this year in his blinkered and at times disturbing obsession with all things Tiger.
When asked the pointless question who do you think will win the Masters? Roey began his slightly predictable response with “Some people say I’m biased towards Tiger and he is all I talk about to the detriment of other players! And then followed up this piece of self awareness with “Tiger wins this week no worries for me.” To be fair to the man even when Woods was well off the pace he was beating the drum for a Tiger comeback and of course when it never happened he didn’t say he was wrong merely said Tiger would win the next Major even though he hasn’t won one in five years. You really couldn’t make it up.
Best it’s never my fault
Rory Mcilroy again by a landslide. This year Rory has ditched his management team. You remember the one he went with after ditching the one he was with when he was winning everything. He will now be managed by a team consisting of family and friends at least they currently are friends, in six months who knows. We have also had problems with clubs, too much travelling, not enough golf and girlfriend troubles. The facts are he has played some dreadful golf lets hope he knuckles down over the Winter, stops the excuses and gets back to the great player he can be.
Adam Scott who climbed off the floor after losing last years Open with a cringeworthy collapse to come out and win The Masters this year in a play off. Class performance from a class act who like Mickelson shows you can be a Major winner and be nice to people shock horror.
Bubba Watson award for being stupid
Bubba Watson the man who claimed he was surprised when waking up in his seaside hotel that the sea was right up to his room when he had looked the night before and it was beach. Bubba was even prepared to share this basic lack of knowledge of tidal systems with the Worlds press ensuring the Bubba Watson award for being stupid is retained by Bubba Watson.
Best Player in the World
Step forward Henrik Stenson the giant Swede who hits it further than anybody and hits it straighter than anybody. This year he has added mental toughness and a short game. Forget the rest this guy is now the Governor. I expect him to carry on this form next year.
That’s it, it was a great year in the World of Golf and in 2014 Golf Bet Profits will be bringing its members the very best bets for all the Tournaments around the globe.
Join us! I look forward as always to seeing you on the fairways.
Golf Bet Profits