A Testing Time.
Sunday 20th. After a disastrous day on Friday, when we only hit one winner and I did mine and all my clients conkers, I KNOW, I need to shape up and attempt to bang in some winners before the month ends.
Steve is very joyous as he informs me that the good Doctors HEWDYERWHEESHT is expected to run a big race today at 10/1. He also tells me that MAZ WARD at 12/1 and CREEVYTENNANT at 8/1 are also not out of things, so I decide to back and email all three out as a big priced ew trixie.
Oh and I nearly forgot, he also informed me the charming Hayley is back on the scene after a major row with the ex, the Swedish bird and he is entertaining her with a lamb and apricot meal tonight.
I am also given PROFESSOR who runs at Haydock tonight and is trading at 5/2 as a very strong bet and I am informed his homework has been scintillating. As I attempted to be too clever for my own good last week, with my free column tip, by putting up a 50/1 shot, which lost, I want to make amends, so I put up PROFESSOR as a very strong free column bet advising all to take the 5/2, this also goes out to all my clients.
I get Tom and Pete to also put ARTFUL PRINCE in an ew double with PROFESSOR for me and this completes my bets and emails for the day.
I pick the Great Alfonze up from The Inn and we head towards Newmarket.
He is also full of the joys of spring, so I ask him if he is also cooking apricots and lamb tonight, he just looks at me as if I’m demented.
We arrive in good time, he can’t wait to give John Christie, the best rails bookmaker some of his hard earned and proceeds to the ring. As I am not intending to have a punt at Newmarket, I settle outside the owners and trainers bar, which overlooks the pre parade ring.
It’s a fantastic day, the sun is shining and I think it would be very difficult to find a better office than this.
The good Doctor punts his and we just miss out on a place, annoyingly 4th. MAX WARD runs a cracking race at 12/1 and finishes 2nd, so a small profit. For a horse that is not certain to stay I find the forcing tactics on CREEVYTENNANT very bazaar and sure enough he fades away into the distance, maybe they have another day in mind, where he will be dropped in trip or ridden more conservatively.
Alfonze with his face blood red steams in with the first two winners at Newmarket under his belt and complains that the wine effects his gout and gets a pint. I receive a phone call from some of our local girls, thinking they just want some Saturday tips and I am pleasantly surprised to hear they are in fact here and on a 21st jolly up.
We immediately leave our wine in Michael’s capable hands and head to the champagne tent, near the winning line. With silly flower necklaces round their necks, their faces are a similar colour to the Alfonzes, but I suspect it’s alcohol induced rather than blood pressure. Sure enough they are already steaming, Tina who’s my age, is the leader and in her bestest girlie voice mentions she has never tried a bottle with the orange label, how can you refuse, what’s now fourteen pairs of cow eyes staring at you, simple, you can’t, although saying that the Alfonzes mobile did mysteriously ring at that precise moment. £71 lighter and I am left thinking maybe I have been groomed, hopefully all in a good cause.
The bottle just about manages a full circuit and I’m on my toes back to the trainers bar, with Tina and Claire the teacher in tow, oh yes and old red face bringing up the rear.
The wine has evaporated, down Mikes throat I think and the Alfonze sees the opportunity to get a round in, with no Orange labels in sight, I hasten to add. Tina backs her first winner and the Alfonze his third and all is well. Even better when Mr Bailey joins us with his pink bubbles. I’m not so sure it was my presence that prized him out of the bar, but even money it was the teachers ample thighs on show. She is now struggling and couldn’t correctly mark pre school exam papers, certainly not perturbed by this Captain Bailey is full on and I hope teach has hopefully got her cane concealed somewhere as protection as some naughty thoughts and stories are being played out in certain minds.
How do these women do it? Tina backs her 2nd then 3rd, because it wears a hood and looks like batman and fourth, because it had a crap and must be lighter winners. Teach has her eyes and thighs shut, so the Captain retires to his mates in the bar.
The girls go back to the party a lot fuller than when they left and it’s just me and Alfonze left.
As he has only had a couple of pints he offers to drive and we head home with the PROFESSOR to look forward to.
Sunday morning and I sincerely hope that Hayley’s lamb and apricots were more of a success than Steve’s tips yesterday, or he would of had more chance of scoring in a nunnery.
PROFESSOR did the business for us last night and we landed a nice win bet and also a free column tip. It would of been super if ARTFUL PRINCE could of won also, for our ew double, but alas he finished third for a small profit.
No bets today and a really quiet chill out and recharge for me.
Monday 21st. 5am and I’m on the road this morning heading towards Newmarket, as I want to watch one particular horse in the first string on the racecourse side gallop. If all goes well we will be entering him in a relatively easy looking race on Friday and having a very big punt.
After the gallops we stop at the White Lion for some breakfast and whilst there I am told that everybody expects SHARMAS SONG of Sir Michaels to be responsible for getting Ryan Moore to the 100 winners for the season. With this emailed out and bet I head for home.
On the way, I get a huge word for FACTOR FIFTY, who at 14/1 I am told is a huge price and now back on good to firm ground is a must bet.
With IRENE HULL and BALLYBORGH GORTA all my bets and emails are complete.
I have to book my hotels and trains for the end of the week as the plan, at the moment is, to go up to Doncaster Thursday to back the winning machine from the Chris Wall stable, SYRIAN PEARL and then on to York for the Friday night and Saturday day meets.
FACTOR FIFTY runs a huge race at a smashed up 9/2 and again finishes second, with our 14/1 banked we make a nice profit, but nothing like a win would of paid.
IRENE HULL runs well below par and thankfully BALLBOROUGH GORTA gets in the winners enclosure for the LATE BETTING SERVICE.
Tuesday 22nd. We are still struggling to hit the heady heights that we did in the last two months, when we made over 400 points profit. Not to worry there is still plenty of time to build a very nice profit. One of the reasons we just can’t quite kick on again this month is we are enduring to many 2nds, FACTOR FIFTY was our 12th of the month so far. Although this is most annoying, it does show the information and form readings are the same, we are just not getting the rub of the green at the moment. If only 10%-15% of the seconds had of won, at our prices, we would be bang up there again, that’s how close we are.
Not fazed, but getting very agitated with all these seconds I email out two win bets and an ew double on POTENT EMBRACE 11/8 and BLACK JAKE at 7/2.
Jimmy Brooooown, says he knows more about Scottish racing than anyone, if that was my big claim to fame, I would of firmly locked it up in that beaten up old red case of his namesake, ex Scottish Chancellors Gordon Brooooowns and hoped as tax rebates, it never got out.
POTENT EMBRACE attempts as most of Johnson’s do, tries to lead all the way, but the powerful Newmarket stable of Roger Varion has sneaked a sleeper in and nabs us on the line and demotes us to second AGAIN. Tom Eaves employs the same front running tactics on BLACK JAKE and this time he gets his fractions spot on and wins very nicely at 7/2.
A nice winning day, but I can’t help thinking how much better it could of been.
Wednesday 23rd. I am heading to our local greasy spoon again this morning to meet the “fixer” Owen, who is still at the top of the BETFAN tree.
Once again we are trying to be with Ryan Moore when he cracks the 100 barrier on MATRAVERS. Steve is very keen indeed on COMBUSTIBLE LADY over the sticks. With both of these punted and emailed, I can now get ready for my three day trip to Doncaster and York.
Not a good day at the office as we don’t trouble the scorers at all.
Thursday 24th. I leave nice and early to catch the 2-11pm rattler up north for tonight’s racing at Doncaster.
The main reason for the trip is to back the Chris Wall trained SYRIAN PEARL, who is in flying form at home and is expected to win. I also email out ALONSOA at 11/8, MARSALI at 11/4, GLOBAL LADY at 6/5 and finally BEACH OF FALESA also at 11/4.
I will have to let the two elderly statesmen, my father and Mr Jolly make their own way to Great Yarmouth today.
Basil Holden in his column today says he dresses like George Clooney, lol, more like George Roper.
ALONSOA gets our day of to the best possible start by winning and then it gets even better with a power packed ride by Ryan Moore on GLOBAL LEADER. Two winners and my main bet hasn’t even ran yet. BEECH OF FALESA is added to our ever growing second list after looking like the winner.
MARSALI runs as if there is something amiss. SYRIAN PEARL appears to get up bang on the line and has me doing a jig as I have had a huge win bet at 7/2 and with best odds guaranteed I have copped the 6/1 sp. Betfair backs up my view as he is trading at 10/1 ON and the cameraman also agrees as he is the horse in view. Bang, doom and gloom as number 7 is called the winner, although I watch another five or six reruns and still think we have won, there’s no big payout for Belly boy on this occasion. Absolutely Gutted with the 13 seconds now for this month, I leave for some comfort food.
Once again the Chinese that finished off the evening was spot on, a quick taxi back to the Premier Inn. Why me, is what I say, 365 days a year the hotel porter has to shag the night receptionist and tonight he couldn’t keep it in his pants. After five minutes of ringing the bell and no answer, full of wine Belly boy decides the only way in is through the security window. These windows, as you know only open so far, so you can imagine trying to prise my ample bulk through was not easy, thankfully a chair was just under the window for me to fall on with a bang as it toppled over, just as a very flustered looking receptionist reappeared and a smirking porter, the key was quickly given and I retired after another eventful day.
Friday 25th. Early up, past a grinning day receptionist and across to Asda to get the RP. On my return to the hotel I am greeted with giggles and morning Charles? Why Charles I question the now laughing receptionist, well I thought you were Charles Pearce, still I haven’t cottoned on, Charles Pearce the famous cat burglar she says, I now have a rough idea where she is coming from, but I’m amazed the night receptionist has mentioned my antics, because of hers, she hadn’t, look here she says, pointing at her computer screen, in full view of the security cameras, which is now showing on her screen is me prising myself through this half open window and very up gracefully crashing over the chair lol lol. only andybell.com.
We have another busy day ahead of us as we have four selections all at Ascot.
GABBIANO in the last ew, MADE IN RIO, CHARLES CAMOIN ew and EURO CHARLINE who I watched work earlier in the week. I bet all these and email them all out.
I am catching the 2-11 train from Donny to York and meeting Basil Holden at the station. As usual he is late and I can’t believe I have asked Roper the fashion icon to bring me a tie as I haven’t packed one, as usual, as I hate wearing them.
Basil brings me a garish stripy purple tie, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.
MADE IN RIO makes my Stella taste a shade sweeter as he wins nicely and we have made the perfect start. Next EURO CHARLINE bolts in and we are already sitting pretty with two bets and two winners.
Eddie the stat, meets us with his entourage for a pre race beer. As we are walking to the course he suddenly turns right to the County stand, or the cheaper end, hehehe maybe he should try and be a good tipster and not the Betfan tea boy.
I head straight for the TVs to watch Ascot and to my horror and dismay, I can’t believe mid July and it’s absolutely chucking it down, which will certainly not suit our next two runners.
CHARLES CAMOIN doesn’t go a yard on the softened ground and I have majors fears for our bet, GABBIANO in the last.
After hitting 1.8 in running and looking the most likely winner GABBIANO finish is blunted by the ground and what started off as a super day has fizzled out due to the rain. As if my luck isn’t bad enough this month with 14 seconds in mid July I am beaten by rain, NOW it’s time to join as my luck will soon change, given my fantastic contacts, oh and knowledge lol.
With my day ruined, I am in no mood to stay at the course to listen to the Beach Boys, so it’s the early train back to Donny and hoping the night porter has already done his business.
Saturday 26th. A change of plan this morning I have binned York and I am heading homewards and to Newmarket to bet two runners there today as I have huge words for both.
14:45 Newmarket (July) – First Flight – Win Bet @ 5/2 (various)
15:55 Newmarket (July) – Fast Track – Each Way Bet @ 6/1 (Stan James)
I have a really big bet lined up for Carlise tomorrow, well so the trainer told me at York yesterday.
“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.” Winston Churchill
Never, never, never get caught pls.
Back next Saturday